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Pre Exam Ramble

19 May 2022

OH BOY IT’S BEEN A HOT SECOND HUH! And my last entry was a whole rant and everything… well today’s will be a little more informal I think. Let me see what I’ve been up to since I last talked to you.

Uh……….

Ok so there actually isn’t all that much. I’ve spent most of my time revising. It’s like, 6 days until my first A level, so I’ve been either panicking about exams or studying for the past month. Mostly panicking. To be honest, I hadn’t been feeling great at all up until a few days ago. I’m not quite sure what changed, but over the past few days I’ve been in a better, more productive mood and I’m actually feeling pretty good about acing Further Core Pure Maths Paper 1™!

I think the trick has been allowing myself to study in my own way. I’ve decided I’m allowed to listen to music while I study, and if I get bored of something instead of giving up I just switch to another subject. That’s allowed me to keep studying for longer. Also, when I’m studying at home if I feel like giving up I get up and do a 5 minute workout session. I don’t often like working out but if it’s not studying that’s often enough motivation to get me to do it. Playing tricks on yourself to get any modicum of productivity is the neurodivergent way.

Speaking of neurodivergency, my prospects of getting an autism diagnosis just got better! As I spoke about last month, I’ve struggled to get a referral in the past. However, my sister has been in therapy for a while and is now getting referred for an assessment, which means they’re more likely to believe me if I were to ask to go again. I’d be going through the adult system now so it might be different too. I’m honestly not sure if it’s worth the hassle - I’ve been getting so much better at taking care of myself over the past few years - but if something starts to go wrong at university I feel like this will make it easier to ask for help.

Oh yeah, something incredibly homosexual happened to me the other day. Aaaaand after a solid paragraph of lesbian ramblings I have deleted all of that :) you don’t get to see the inner machinations of my mind that easily. or i’m embarassed or something. What if my IRLs find this. eugh.

Oh, and I’ve gotten really really into Sonic the Hedgehog recently for no apparent reason. So there’s that. In short, we thriving! See ya when I see ya.

Blue