Maggot

07 Jun 2022

The “Intimate Album” by Dazey and the Scouts.

OUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh! OK but seriously though, my CD of this album just came in the other day - shoutout to Get Better Records by the way, they also sign Vial and they managed to make and ship me a CD and two bonus stickers from the US for only £25 and 2 and a half months of my time - and it reminded me that the only thing on this page is the noise my brain makes every time I hear it. So here’s a track by track of what I love about this album. Oh geez, but I’m already halfway through, I guess I have to rewind and go back to the start… what a shame…

Groan

First of all, the intro is completely incomprehensible but it is the introduction of the singer’s amazing voice. It comes cleaner and cleaner towards the chorus and UGh I just love the little imaginative bits the singer adds. Random squeaks and groans and growls that add so much personality to the song. The guitar sounds dangerous, risky, but daring and hopeful, and like an adventure… can you tell I don’t review music? The drumbeat almost sounds tribal, and I think that really adds to the very visceral lust of this song. Oh and here it comes… yes.. yes! THE HIGH NOTE!!!! ARE YOU A DANG OPERA SINGER OR WHAT??? There was no need! No need and yet! Stunning! Amazing! 10/10

Wet

And now the iconic Wet, which my parents just walked in on me singing at full volume. The wordplay here is really fun, props to Lea who apparently wrote this one according to the album cover. And I spent so long looking that up that I’ve missed half the song OH NO but it’s so playful and cheerful, it feels like a really fun honest conversation with the girlies you know? Like when the lads are recommending vibes or whatever. I don’t know. It’s a hit of the summer. And the winter. All time is Wet time. And the ending, a quick moment of peace before we break into…

James Deen You Let Us Down

Now I have to say, I am asexual, I have never once in my life watched porn, I have no goddamn clue who he is. But after a quick search online, I gotta say I agree with the various threats of death and maiming the Scouts make during this song. It’s a much-needed chillout place in the album, and while it’s not my favourite song in the album that just means it’s like, 10 points above all other music instead of 100 like the rest of the album. Lovely guitar solo as well. Very smooth, very chill. I am waving my arms in the air. Of course it gets bonus points for having that fun little YA BASTARD right at the end. It’s cute touches like that that make this a true ‘intimate album’ as proclaimed on the cover.

Sad Boys

Now this song very much hits home. It has the same message as Mommy Fwiend by Penelope Scott - please for the love of god can you stop using me as a free therapist and just be a normal friend for once? The music conveys the desperation that that sort of relationship can cause. You don’t want to actively feed into it because it’s horribly uncomfortable and dragging you down, but you can’t back out because of threats of suicide or whatever. And like, I know what it’s like to be the depressed friend. But there comes a time when you can’t just burden your friends with everything. Relationships are a two-way street. And that’s a really difficult conversation to have! I’ve probably phrased it very bluntly because I’m tired and refuse to proofread so please take everything I’ve said here in good faith. But hey, back to the music - this is a catchy track. I want to play it while speeding along the motorway with all the windows open and tear-streaked mascara.

Maggot

If you ask me, this song is the masterpiece of this album. If at this point you feel like singing along, I believe Scene Queen Karaoke on YouTube has a great backing track up. I love this song. I am not much one for analysing lyrics as I have auditory processing disorder. However. I think this is very much the lesbian experience. Of being the dregs of society, things that Good Self Respecting People wouldn’t touch with a barge pole. But you’re perfect for each other really. You have your own relationship, your own understanding of each other, and that’s different from how everyone else does it. But it works for you. The maggot eats the corpse. It’s natural, it’s life, and if other people are disgusted by it that’s on them. Also, another high note!!! I could totally keep writing about this song but I’m a slow typer yknow? Maybe another time.

Sweet Cis Teen

Aha, another song about the lesbian experience! Wanting to be confident in your gender but it’s so impossible with the constant shame put on you by society in general. Trying your hardest to be a good little dyke but the world seems to be fighting you at every turn… I’m just going to copy paste the rant at the end from the Scouts’ Bandcamp because it is frankly incredible and I scream it every time I hear the song.

to be trans is to be your own pall bearer— to carry the weight of a dead person around with you. if my gender could be sold, it wouldn’t fit inside the pages of ms. magazine. my gender can’t speak, but even if it could, it’d stay hidden in the corner of every room trying to keep quiet anyway. learn to piece my parts together on an assembly line— learn to code a language where i am not excluded if my gender had a pair of arms, it’d point out all the rallies i didn’t get the invitation for. how in the second wave we fought for gender equality and limited the number to two. if my gender had legs, it would sprint. catch up with all the progress that feminism is making. all the FUCKING progress that T.E.R.F. feminism is making.

Nice Nice

And finally, The Horny Song! No but seriously I love how this is just a cheerful wonderful celebration of sexuality. A little dangerous, a little risky, but it’s fun and it’s an absolute banger. I want to mosh to this so bad. Please do an international tour. I absolutely need to go bonkers to this. I need to be beaten to death to this song like I need to breathe oxygen. I might call my girlfriend over specifically so we can go mental. And on that note…

uh, we’re dazey and the scouts and we’re your new step parents :)